I had the windows open yesterday night while it rained. Loved how the cool wind blew into the room. The cats were extra manja with me. Perhaps they knew how I felt. That morning, somehow I knew what was to be expected from the appointment with Dr. J. He wanted to give me another dosage of 200g of Clomide but I mentioned that after the few cycles of Clomide, my body seemed resistant to it. So I was asking him about his initial suggestion of HCG injections (which I will have to do a self-shot) and he said that usually these injections will work with IUI. He gave us a brochure and told us it would cost about $1K+. Since it IUI is not part of ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology Procdure), there is no subsidy for this even if I transfer to a public hospital… *darn*

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)

IUI, or intrauterine insemination, is a procedure done in a doctor’s office that places sperm directly into a woman’s uterus to aid in conception. During normal intercourse, only a small percentage of a man’s sperm will make it past the woman’s cervix and enter the uterus to fertilize the woman’s egg. Most of the sperm that is ejaculated during intercourse remains in the vagina. A small percentage of the ejaculated sperm will travel, with the help of the woman’s cervical mucous, through the vagina and into the cervical canal where it is released gradually into the uterus. But, this amount is only a fraction of the total amount of sperm ejaculated. IUI increases a couple’s chance of conceiving because it does a few things. First, it removes any obstacles that could keep sperm from entering the uterus, such as hostile cervical mucous or antisperm antibodies. It also places the sperm closer to the egg. Moreover, it improves the odds of conception by simply putting more sperm into the uterus than would be possible through normal intercourse. Logically, the more sperm that is in the uterus during ovulation, the higher the chances are of conceiving.

Image & Info Source: E Tips Free
Normally I am ok coz I know my condition and it is expected but that day, after booking for the next appointment and making the necessary payment, I just broke down while walking to the lift. I tried to control the emotions but I guess it a lot of pent up emotions that just wanted out. I guess the husband was dumbfounded for a while trying to make me laff it off but it was a lil’ bit too much for me to handle. I felt incomplete and I’m the root cause of it all that we aren’t able to move to the next step. *sigh – bangsheadonthewall*