The husband was albeit reluctant for me to post up any info on the site about the baby coz he’s the one who believes in the pantang of can’t tell anyone before 3 months is up coz he is just afraid that anything can happen within the crucial period. So hence the password protection for now. but once the 3 months is up, insya-allah I wll remove the password to share the processes with ppl who are also TTC. For me it’s more of still remembering the details and jotting it down now rather than I forget about it altogether.

So we had an appointment with Dr. Sadhana yesterday at 3.45pm but was told to go to the Antenatal Monitoring Clinic (AMC) at Level 1, Women’s Tower 1st at about 2.45pm. We learned that this is where we would be getting our 1st ultrasound. So from the BHCG levels, Tinun was telling me it could be twins or triplets. So when it was our turn in, there was this monitor right across me. They did an abdominal scan 1st and all I could see we black bubbles and more black bubbles. The nurse pressed on to my left side of the stomach and it did feel a lil’ painful.  So after the nurse took a few print screens, they wanted to do the vaginal scan next. I’m assuming that the abdominal scans are to see if my ovaries are still swelling from the OHSS and from the reports given, it was still big. Right – 89 x 49mm and the Left – 96 x 76mm.

So on with the vaginal scan, they probed and probed and after a while I could see the gestational sac. It was quite big and the nurse explained to me that the thing in the centre is my baby and that the screen is flickering there is the heartbeat. At that point, I felt like crying. It was emotional. I asked the nurse, is it just one? She probed further and there was another gestational sac but it’s much smaller than the initial one. She told the assisting nurse to get the print screen but she mentioned to me that Dr. Sadhana will explain further.

So once that is done, we waited for her to give the printouts and the report that was to be given to Dr. Sadhana. It was the most surreal feeling that both of us were feeling. After 5 year of trying, ups and downs, we are going to be parents. *sobs sobs* Here’s the screenshot that we took from the the ones were printed out.

The printout that she gave us only showed 1 sac. The one with the other sac was attached to the report. In the report, it wrote that the yolk-sac measured 5.7 x 6.8 x 3.9mm is visible but suggests to follow up. We were quite nervous to meet Dr. Sadhana. So when we finally met her, she congratulated us and told us that we are having twins. We voiced out our concerns that the other sac is smaller but as usual, she always instills good positive vibes. She told us to come back in 2 weeks time to scan again. Looking at the gestational sac, it had a good size & shape and she is confident that it will grow further. She told us to just continue on the folic acid and the progesterone tablets and see us again in 2 weeks time.

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I tell you, Google is evil! I was reading so many forums on why the 2nd sac is smaller than the other and what may happen. I guess it’s true that in some forums, they mentioned to avoid Google altogether. There is a 50-50 chance that the 2nd sac will catch up and grow bigger as it’s usually a few days slower than the 1st sac. But there is also the possibility of the “Vanishing Twin Syndrome”. Got this off one of the blogs that I was reading – TwinPossible.com. Here’s what she has researched.

What is Vanishing Twin Syndrome?
It’s the loss of a twin in the 1st trimester of pregnancy, many times before a woman even has her 1st ultrasound the sac is reabsorbed or may be lost with a bit of blood as in a miscarriage but the second twin survives. This happens to many of us and usually the ones who know about this are ones who have been trying to conceive and are being closely monitored, and received early ultrasounds like at 5,6,7 weeks.

Usually the ‘lost twin’ gets reabsorbed into the mother’s body and disappears from view on ultrasound shortly thereafter. Hence the name Vanishing Twin Syndrome, as it does appear it vanish without a trace.

Why does it happen?
It could be one of many things. A genetic abnormality, a faulty placenta, implantation issues, or simply survival of the fittest. The child may not have been compatible with life and was not able to survive a full term birth. It may be God’s way of helping the strong fetus develop and thrive and it could not have been done if the second twin was there.

It happens so early we rarely ever get the answer to such questions, but I try and look at it as giving the remaining baby the best shot of life, and that likely it was too weak to survive and may have had a difficult or impossible life if born. After losing a son after 9 and 1/2 years, I couldn’t bare to go through something like that again. I felt like God has his plan even though of course, it is a sad thing indeed.

Could Vanishing Twin Syndrome have been prevented?
In a word..NO! There is nothing you could do to prevent this. It wasn’t caused by a few drinks you had before you knew you were pregnant, or by not taking your folic acid fast enough, or doing strenuous exercise. It’s an occurrence that happens spontaneously. It was a child that for whatever reason was not to be.

It could have had genetic problems and just wasn’t fit to be able to grow and thrive along with it’s co-twin. There is nothing that you did that made it happen and nothing you can do to stop it from happening. No guilt there please!

You can read more from her experience here.

So for now I can only hope and pray that the 2nd sac keeps on growing. Hopefully in 2 weeks time, I’ll have a positive entry.